So parallels. What is a parallel? Two lines that never cross. And me in the middle! I find myself in this situation a lot. I guess it comes with having the friends that I have. Of course, they're all really great, really awesome friends. But I have friends who will never ever meet, and you know, it's weird. Some people I know are going through a lot of trouble, and some people I know are going through really happy moments in their lives. It's kind of hard for me to figure out where I fit in. Should I feel happy? Should I feel sad? I don't really know. I guess that's life.
In other news, I have a new addiction. Blindboxes! Yay! Long story short, it's a little box with a figurine inside, but you don't know what figure you're getting because all the boxes are the same. Thus, blindbox. And so I've been buying them, well not really, I only have four, but I will buy them more often. Tee hee. They're cute. I'll leave the story of how I discovered them for another time, since time is short.
Toronto? I told my mom about Toronto. She's kinda...iffy about it. She hasn't said no. She said no when I said July. Then she changed her mind to, we'll talk about it. So actually, I don't really know. Most likely, she'll let me go. So, there's that. Hooray.
I want ice cream. I haven't had a good opportunity to have ice cream for awhile. I come home, I have e-mails to write and things to pay and all sorts of other things I end up wasting my time on and I just don't get the urge to get ice cream till later.
That and I have this urge to like, not eat things, primarily because food costs money. And, yes, that sounds silly, but I don't really eat much. And then I end up spending money on silly things. But I don't really spend it on things. Does that make any sense? Like, I have this new blindbox addiction, but I haven't actually bought one for the last two weeks. I just THINK about it a lot, and how when I get the chance, I'm going to buy some more. Yeh. But I don't REALLY do it.
Sigh. Oh money, what a problem you are. I remember when money didn't use to be a problem. Ha. Those were the days indeed. Of course, those days I never spent money on myself either. It was always for someone else. I'd always treat, I'd always buy nice things for people, etc. etc. It brings a smile to my face, actually, remembering all the little things I used to do. And maybe the big things. Actually, they were probably big things. I don't know what kind of value people put on the things that I get for them. I sometimes wonder about it, but at the same time...I don't really feel like asking would be a good thing.
I dunno, when I get something, I try to tailor it to the person I'm getting, you know? I don't like getting gift cards or simple thank you notes, no siree. A gift always has to be something that a person wants/needs/has value for. Getting a gift card is like giving someone money that they can only spend at someplace. It's like the lazy-man's gift. Or something. I don't know. And price used to be no option. NOW...well...I dunno. I guess price still isn't an option, considering that I don't really spend money on myself...heh. I'm a silly kid.
I want ice cream. I haven't had a good opportunity to have ice cream for awhile. I come home, I have e-mails to write and things to pay and all sorts of other things I end up wasting my time on and I just don't get the urge to get ice cream till later.
That and I have this urge to like, not eat things, primarily because food costs money. And, yes, that sounds silly, but I don't really eat much. And then I end up spending money on silly things. But I don't really spend it on things. Does that make any sense? Like, I have this new blindbox addiction, but I haven't actually bought one for the last two weeks. I just THINK about it a lot, and how when I get the chance, I'm going to buy some more. Yeh. But I don't REALLY do it.
Sigh. Oh money, what a problem you are. I remember when money didn't use to be a problem. Ha. Those were the days indeed. Of course, those days I never spent money on myself either. It was always for someone else. I'd always treat, I'd always buy nice things for people, etc. etc. It brings a smile to my face, actually, remembering all the little things I used to do. And maybe the big things. Actually, they were probably big things. I don't know what kind of value people put on the things that I get for them. I sometimes wonder about it, but at the same time...I don't really feel like asking would be a good thing.
I dunno, when I get something, I try to tailor it to the person I'm getting, you know? I don't like getting gift cards or simple thank you notes, no siree. A gift always has to be something that a person wants/needs/has value for. Getting a gift card is like giving someone money that they can only spend at someplace. It's like the lazy-man's gift. Or something. I don't know. And price used to be no option. NOW...well...I dunno. I guess price still isn't an option, considering that I don't really spend money on myself...heh. I'm a silly kid.
Oh look at me, pouring out all these problems. And yet...I feel strangely satisfied with life. Like everything is going to be okay. Like tomorrow is going to be a good day, and I'm actually...looking forward to it. But I know that's silly because I know when I wake up in the morning, I'll just go back to my old usual, charming depressed self. I think it's more the fact that I'm just so USED to it now. That I've given up hope, you know?
Back in the old days it was always...I had hope. Hope that things would get better. And maybe that's why I was always crushed, because the higher my hopes were, the harder they fell when things didn't get better. But now, I've accepted that they won't get better. And while I still hope, I don't hope as high. And maybe that's why falling doesn't hurt as much.
Back in the old days it was always...I had hope. Hope that things would get better. And maybe that's why I was always crushed, because the higher my hopes were, the harder they fell when things didn't get better. But now, I've accepted that they won't get better. And while I still hope, I don't hope as high. And maybe that's why falling doesn't hurt as much.
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