Ah, post #50

This, I do believe, is my 50th post. I mean I could be wrong, but who's counting anyway, right?

I thought I'd reach 50 a lot sooner, but I guess being lazy can put a dent in that road. That and other trials and tribulations. Ah well, but who reads this, right? I guess a few people do. Well, three anyway. =D

So I suppose I should make this post special in some way. Special, special. I'll tell you all an amusing story. I doubt any of you have heard this one.

When I was younger, one of the better treats I had in my life was going to the theater at Kahala Mall. (This was back in Hawaii, and Kahala Mall was this indoor mall with a theater that was fairly close to my house.)

And so on this particular weekend, Batman and Robin had just been released (the 4th Batman movie in a string of Batman movies that was spiraling downwards to horribleness. This was before the revitalization with Batman Begins) And being the Batman fan that I was, I wanted to see it. Duh? Of course, I wasn't all analytical with movies back then like I am now. Back then it was like BATMAN! YAY!

Of course, Con Air had also been released at the time. You know, starring Nicholas Cage about the convicts taking over the airplane and stuff? So we went to the theater and it was like, "Let's go see Batman!" and my mom was like "No, let's go see Con Air! I heard it was really good. My coworker said it was really good." And I was like ehhhhhhhhHHHH, cuz you know. Batman! Yay! My cousins were also with us, and they too wanted to watch Con Air. And my mom was like, "We can go see Batman next time, okay?" And I was like fine. But I knew she'd regret it somehow.

So we went to go see Con Air. Being the rated R movie that it was, there was like rape, and violence, and..you know, other rated R type stuff. Basically deranged convicts and other types of things that my mother in no way condones. Or likes watching. Ever.

After the movie I was like I KNEW I WE SHOULD'VE WATCHED BATMAN. HA.

Although I must admit, Con Air is definitely a better movie than Batman and Robin. But you know, I was only like 10 or 11 or so. I didn't know the difference.

I guess that's all for now. We're still kinda snowed in here. It's very pretty outside.

Ah, blizzards.

Yes, blizzards. It is blizzarding. Well not right now. It WAS blizzarding. There's snow everywhere. Except on the tree directly across from my window, across the street. How odd is that? It doesn't look like there's a single drop of snow on that tree. How extremely mysterious.

But the snow is quite deep. I believe it comes to over my ankle. Probably more. That's some deep snow. I don't have anyone to throw it at though. Sadness abounds.

And so I find that I have not one but TWO followers. This intrigues me. Although I am intrigued by who else might be reading but has not left a sign. If you're out there, let me know!

Though I doubt there's anyone left. So I guess it's just the three of us! Woo! Party time! Or Coffee Time! as Naomi puts it. Though I suppose with the audience I have, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Just imagine a lot of flashy lights and people serving coffee and dancing and stuff. No? It's okay.

So I have three weeks off from my restaurant. I haven't really planned any trips or anything. I guess maybe I should have, but maybe I shouldn't have. I feel like I'm losing touch with the world and reality. No...I'm losing touch with...how to interact properly with people. It's something I feel I can't do right anymore. But more than that, perhaps it's also a feeling of...purposelessness. And no I don't need lectures on making my own purpose and all that. It's something deeper. Something that I can't solve right away. These things take time. I just wish that it'd go by faster.

And so with that, I will try to blog more for my limited audience. We'll see what I can come up with.

Ah, blogging habits.

I guess I just kind of fell out of the habit in blogging in this thing. Which begs the question, who still reads this?

Why don't you go ahead and drop me a comment if you still do. I'm curious.

Which also begs the question, why stop blogging?

Perhaps I wasn't strong enough to wait four years. Perhaps I'm not strong enough to wait a couple days. It doesn't matter though. In the end, the outcome is always the same.

Ah, four years.

I'm back from California.

Four years? Four years. FOUR YEARS?!

No one has any idea about what I'm talking about. Heh. Some of you can guess, others can ask, but I shall tell no one. I guess all you can do is wait for four years and see what happens then, ey?

In other non related news, things must change. For the better or worse...well...

Four years...

I can wait four years.

Ah, redemption.

I'm going to California. For two weeks.

Perhaps...perhaps there is hope after all.

Ah, faith.

I've lost it. *refers to title*

I've lost...my sense of worth. I've lost faith that life is going to get better. It really isn't. I don't know why I delude myself into thinking that it will be.

I've lost the touch. The magic touch where I could easily talk to any of my friends and feel welcome. And loved. And respected. And all those other things. I'm not the same person I was before. I'm someone that no one really wants to associate with.

I've lost the girl. Yes, the girl. She'll never say yes. I can prove it, but what's the point? There is no point. She'll never say yes for as long as I live. And it doesn't really matter who it is. She'll never say yes.

I've lost the job. No, I still work. I've lost the will to work. Why work? Why bother supporting myself? Supporting anyone? I'm clearly unfit. I'm just another lazy bum who's getting by day by day. It's not like life brings any satisfaction. Why should I work to support a life that has no justification?

I've lost the dream. There once was a time when my dreams saw the future. Laugh all you want, but my dreams came true. Every single one of them. And then they stopped. And then I had normal dreams, about flying, or being a secret agent, or doing all sorts of random things that you wouldn't do in real life. The things that don't ever come true. But it's more than that. I've lost any hope that life is going to get better. I'm tired of waiting for a better future. I'm tired of looking for opportunity and working hard to get what I deserve. I've worked hard. I don't get what I deserve. I get the opposite of what I deserve. Karma doesn't exist. If it did, I must have been Hitler in my past life.

Faith? What faith. Hope? What hope. These are all meaningless to me now. It doesn't matter if she says yes; she'd be doing it out of pity. It doesn't matter if I land a swell job; I'd only be recognized for someone I'm not. It doesn't matter if life gets better; it always gets worse. There is no rock bottom. Life always gets worse. There's really no point in me typing anymore.

And you know what? I'm pathetic. I keep thinking about how life would just be so much less stressing if I jumped off a cliff, or into a car, or into a lake, or off a plane, or whatever. But I could never go through with it.

BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH THAT ONE DAY IT'LL GET BETTER.

Now that's pathetic. I'm so stupid.

Ah, little red flowers.

I haven't posted for awhile, and it's the end of the month.

Maybe it's just me, but life is pretty depressing lately.

Actually, I think it is me. But I don't think that really changes the fact that I find a lot of things depressing lately. The movie I'm watching right now, for example. It's really cute and very dramatic and stuff, but...it's just really depressing. Or maybe the movie is supposed to be like that, but still.

...Wow that kid is a genius.

Sigh, and the fact that this kid is a genius depresses me. ISN'T THAT SAD? Or pathetic on my part. Or something.

Maybe I just need a little acknowledgement. Or...something else entirely. Yeah.

Okay, enough of that lameness. Let's talk about cherries.

My mom bought some Rainier cherries today. The good kind. You know, the really good kind? She bought a whole bunch of them for $8. A WHOLE BUNCH. When I say a whole bunch, it's like, a lot.

Anyway, I don't like cherries. Or cherry flavored things, for the most part. So I will probably never eat/try these really good Rainier cherries that I bought. Yes, I bought these cherries. OH THE IRONY. Or something.

Did I mention I don't like cherries? Why, I could even say I hate cherries. But it's not like I go out and systematically eliminate all the cherries I see. I can stand cherries to a certain degree. Like I won't die when I eat a cherry. I'd just prefer not to eat cherries.

Yeah, I think that's enough about cherries.

So I went camping. I don't know if you can really call it camping. More like eating food outdoors and just spending the night in the car. Or something. It was okay.

So I started teaching english. I think I said that before. It's been fun.

I'm a little hungry.

I don't know what else to say. I do know that. Well. Things are happening. And maybe one good thing is happening. Maybe. And that one good thing is the light in the darkness, yeah? Beacon of hope and all that. We'll see what happens.

Ah, Cinema Paradiso.

I've decided to start up watching movies again. Like NONSTOP WATCHING MARATHONS. Or at least, every chance I get. Currently I'm watching Nuovo Cinema Paradiso.

But of course, you're not reading this for the movies I'm watching. Though in my current queue I have 50 or so movies that need watching. I'd better get started, ey?

And yes, that's not an exaggeration. I'd list them but, it's a long list. =)

In the meantime...well. I guess I should try to be more positive about things. Though it's somewhat...difficult to do so considering my current situation. Eheh. I look forward to Saturday. We'll see what happens, I guess.

Ah, tutors.

So, it seems that my Myspace/Facebook craze has mysteriously died out. I'm simply too lazy to continuously check on it. Ha.

And I'm a tutor again! I'm teaching...conversational English. Or at least, something like that. There are those that would say my English is really bad...but honestly I think it's my best subject. I guess I'm just not that smart, ey?

My student is someone who moved over here from Korea. She was looking for someone to help her with English and I guess I fit her description of a good teacher. She commented to my mother that I was "exactly what she was looking for." GO FIGURE, EY?

And before any of you get any ideas, she's 32.

Although really, if I saw her I would've guessed she was like, 25. She looks really young. And very hip. Maybe I'll post a picture on here if I get one.

AAAAANYWAYS, what else. I don't know what else. That's it for now.

Ah, unreasonable images of a fake girl.

You know I put up all these titles for my posts, but really my only goal is to make sure that no title is the same as another. Thus I have all these weird post titles that no one would ever get. Ah well.

SO. I came back from Hawaii. It was a nice trip. Put things into perspective for me. A lot of things into perspective. I will have to dwell on these perspective view changes.

But it was a nice trip. I'm not going to upload pics up on here because I'm incredibly lazy. But I will detail my trip. In detail.

I stayed up alllll night long on Tuesday because, as we all know, I can never get up. And I packed and stuff. Got to the airport, got onto my flight without incident, flew over without incident, got stuck in the plane because of an incident...lol. I took a taxi to my Uncle's place, crashed and fell asleep for a good 6 hours or so, had dinner, went shopping at Longs, went to Coldstone's for some ice cream, settled in, all that good stuff.

WEDNESDAY - I stayed home. Again. It was my cousin's graduation but I wasn't allowed to go. Only parents. =( I just chilled at their place for awhile. Eden called me up and Chawn and her picked me up and we chilled at Chawn's place. It was nice. I got to talk to Ziggy on the phone. =O We didn't really do much. It was Eden's first time driving stick. It was a bit bumpy but she performed marvelously, I think. For her first time, that is. Chawn's mom was nice. I guess that's all I really have to say about that night.

THURSDAY - Woke up, got ready. Took the #3 bus down to Piikoi St. and walked over to SAFEWAY. Yes, Safeway. Go figure, ey? I saw Cathreen running around the store. She didn't notice me but eventually we got together and it was all gee. Had lunch at Zippy's, which no one who reads this blog save for one person knows what it's really like to eat at Zippy's. At least, I don't think anyone else knows. Then we went to the homeless park and talked for a good long several hours. It was nice catching up on everything. Then Ken and his mother picked me up from the park and we went to the LAN.

THURSDAY NIGHT - So there was a LAN party at Ken's house, although I don't know if we could really call it a LAN party because it wasn't much of a LAN party. I didn't bring my computer after all, and no one played any video games or anything. There wasn't much to be done. I watched some House with Eden. It was a good show. And we commented about other people. And that was pretty much it. There were some people there who were doing things that shouldn't have been done, but eh. Then there was that whole incident with Eden driving so we could get some drinks and two cars nearly hitting us. Heh. Yeah, I slept over too. 4 hours woo!

FRIDAY - So on Friday I woke up, helped clean up the house a bit. Then Kierstin stopped by and picked Eden and I up to go SHOPPING! YAY. We had this plan where we would buy Eden a rabbit, so we stopped by the Mililani Town Center pet shop to find a rabbit. And they had this huuuuge sign that said "RABBITS NOT FOR SALE" so we were like crap. Ran over to Napoleon Bakery to grab a cake but Eden didn't like cakes. So we ran to Longs to grab candles and matches. But we didn't get any matches because they sold them in like these huge 20 packs and I was like wow I don't need 50 million matches so I bought a lighter instead. Then we went to Ward shopping center because there was a pet store and Kierstin and I ran around the store looking for bunny cages and bunny food and the like, because we had absolutely no idea what we were doing. We finally settled on a cage, and some food, and a water bottle, and most importantly, a rabbit! Ha ha. She named it Cream. And I did some more shopping, clothes and the like. And then I went back to my Uncle's place.

FRIDAY NIGHT - We went to Maple Garden, which was this chinese restaurant I used to go to all the time. They had new management and stuff so we decided to try it out. It was pretty good. Typical above average chinese food, methinks. It was nice. Went shopping at the Navy exchange right after, which was an interesting turn of pace. Yeah.

SATURDAY - I went back to Ala Moana for more shopping, because I needed to buy more things, obviously! And then there was Eden and Kierstin's graduation, which was very nice. Such a happy event. And that was my Saturday.

SUNDAY - Time to leave. More shopping, for candy and the like. Not much else to say. Aha. And I left.

Yeah, could you tell I got lazier as the post went on? Heh. As for different perspectives on things...well. I just wish things were a little different, and a little easier. But it's not, and they're not, and well. I'll just have to work things out, somehow, some way. But if only things were easier.

Ah, pineapples, chocolates and nuts, oh my.

And so I go to Hawai'i in search of pineapples, chocolate, nuts, and...good food. Mm. ZIPPY'S HERE I COME! =D

I guess that's all. I think the excitement has finally kicked in. I haven't even packed yet and my flight is in like 5 hours. Ahaha.

I'm last minute like that. Take care, all you blog readers, I shall see you again soon~

Ah, lingering dread.

I feel like I'm making a terrible mistake.

Ah, the Italian.

I finished Torchwood. It took me a day. Go figure, huh? It was aite. Towards the end some of the episodes got kind of boring, but the ending was good. Thumbs up.

Oh right, not supposed to talk about movies or shows. My bad.

Having nothing better to talk about, and not wanting to rant about the same old mundane things that I rant about all the time, I will pick something new. How about...pineapples.

So pineapples are pretty good. I like pineapples. I have a friend who doesn't like pineapples. Actually I know more than one person who doesn't like pineapples. It's kind of odd really, because who doesn't like pineapples? I mean, they give out free pineapple at McDonald's in Hawai'i with a purchase of any value meal. At least they used to. They probably don't, anymore. I mean think of all the people coming in to get free pineapple all the time. I know I did. Well, not that often, because it was all the way in Waikiki and it was kind of far for me to go just to get free pineapple.

Anyway, back on topic, pineapples are pretty good. I was offered some pineapple today, but I declined. Actually, I was offered pineapple twice today, but I declined. My stomach isn't feeling too well, you see, and so I figured I probably shouldn't be eating pineapple, what with it being so plentiful and all. I must explode from all the pineapple eating that I would have been doing. Because pineapples are pretty good.

My boss at work wants me to pick up a crate of pineapples when I get back from Hawai'i. Go figure, ey. I guess she really likes her pineapples. I guess I do too, but not enough to want a whole box of pineapple. I mean, that's just a little too much pineapple, don't you think? I swear, some people can get so obsessed over pineapple, it's like a crazy pineapple addiction or something.

So I wonder how many times I typed pineapple today. Must've been...oh...several billion.

I hope you enjoy my silliness. It's certainly better than what I've been pondering about with lately.

Ah, Torchwood.

So, I haven't really posted all this month. I should probably post more or some such.

Having not seen a movie in awhile, I instead find myself watching Torchwood. It's aite so far. I'm only 5 episodes in, after all. And I just started watching...well...about 4 hours ago. Ha. Ha.

I'm kind of hungry.

Life for me at the moment is...well...confusing. Well, not really confusing. It's just...I don't know what I should be doing. In terms offffffff...things. This is hard to explain. Ha.

Imagine for a moment, a shining diamond, a treasure beyond treasures, whatever you will. Placed inside of a room. The door is closing fast! Do you risk it all? Do you risk the dangers, the ceiling coming down on you, the door crushing your very entry, the flaming arrows, all the traps and hazards and everything you could possibly imagine, all for the treasure of a lifetime? Or do you stay, outside, away from harm's away, and dwell upon what could have been?

That's...kind of sort of what it's like. Except...more complicated.

I think...ugh. Risking it all...I know I'm going to regret it. Why? Because...I won't be able to make it past the traps.

But I know that not risking it...I'll just dwell on what could have been. And it's driving me crazy. I just wish that sometimes I could make sure that the treasure would surely be mine. Then I'd know that it'd be okay to risk it all, because it would be okay. But I guess that's not really a risk, knowing that it'd be safe.

But the risks would still be there! Because having the treasure would always be a risk. The risk of losing it. And that's a risk I'm willing to take. Just not the risk of losing before I've even started.

I guess that's all.

Ah, lost faith.

I have not watched a movie in a very long time.

Hm.

The list just keeps getting longer and longer though. Gotta start up again sometime or something.

Yeah I forgot what I was going to post. My bad. Maybe inspiration will hit me later.

Ah, confusion.

So I'll be going to Hawai'i soon. I'm more excited now than I was before, but I'm still not at that point of "omg"ness. I don't know why. Maybe I'm not looking that much forward to it or something like that.

I had a dream. I woke up now to write about that dream on my blog. It was a very confusing dream. Not because I didn't understand it, but because...

Some of you can call me superstitious. Back when I was younger I didn't remember my dreams much. What I did remember came true. Yes, you heard that right, I was a PROPHET. Aha. No, not quite like that, but certain events and elements and things like that in my dreams came true. And while these things didn't make sense or what not, they came true regardless. A good example of this would be the eyes. One day I dreamt that there were a whole bunch of eyes, just floating there at school. And I woke up and of course, I was confused, because at the time I knew that my dreams came true and so to see something like that I had no idea what it meant.

And then later that day it seemed that Jessica and her best friend Diana got into this really really huge fight and Jessica's way of calming herself down was to draw numerous eyes in her notebook. Yes, eyes. Also when I went to english class that day there happened to be a "Requiem for a Dream" movie poster on my desk, which if you didn't know, features a large eye.

Of course, some may say that I'm just associating my dream to random events that happen, and while that may be true, that's a lot of coincidences.

I don't dream about the future anymore though. Now days I have your typical dreams about what not. And none of them come true. At least, I don't remember my dreams well enough anyway, but the stuff I do remember hasn't come true for the most part. Today though...today was very unnerving. Now days it's more what I make of it, right? Like, I have to make it come true myself. Or...something. But...AHHHH. Ayah, so confusing.

This is certainly something to think about.

On a lighter note...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo <= This was really funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIRCzbBB99E <= This is really awesome. Can you name all the songs they used? I can't. But hey, good for Mario fans and music fans everywhere =D

I guess that's all.

Ah, deal making.

Success! I have negotiated approval of my trip to Hawai'i as well as further trips down the road.
Sacrifices I have made? Well. Not much, really. Just daily bible reading. With my mother. And I feel about this...how? I don't know. Ambivalence rules the day. I am ambivalent.

This month...memories flood to me like...a flood. I remember things, regrets, emotions.

Going to Hawai'i. I don't know what to say about it. I'm not...particularly excited. I actually don't know how I feel about it. I think part of me is nervous. The other part feels...nothing.

What do I really feel. I don't want to rant about girls again but I guess that's where it always leads to.

I wonder what leads a girl to like a guy. Being a guy myself, I wouldn't know. But consider this, for a moment. Say a girl likes a guy because he likes her? I mean, well, I'm not sure what I mean. But in today's society, oftentimes it's the male who has to initiate these things, asking the girl out, providing for her, caring for her, and the like.

And so in this regard the girl holds VAST power, because she can just say no. Which sucks.

I remember my rather futile attempts at this. And then of course I just stopped trying after a couple years. It was pretty pointless after all. It wasn't like any girl was going to say yes any time soon. And it's not like people gave any advice that was really helpful or beneficial, no offense to all you wonderful people.

And now...and now. I'm planning that trip to California again, and I'm going to see her during my trip. Or at least, I hope to see her. Well, most likely I will be seeing her. Unless she says no. Because girls seem to like saying no to me, heh. But yeah. And then what?

Meaningless. She'll just say no. Or I'll sit there helplessly and watch as we talk about the things we talk about without her ever really knowing that it'd be nice if we got together.

Sigh.

Ah, negotiations.

I negotiated with my mother about my trip to Hawai'i. Her terms were..unforgiving. She relented some, but she won't give up on one important issue that she needs to give up on.

So for now, well. It seems like I might not be going to Hawai'i. On the other hand, I think she might relent. We'll see how that goes.

I'm pretty sure I'll win this.

Uhm...yeah. I could write more, but yeah. I dunno. For now I should sleep or something.

Ah, Hawai'i.

So it seems that maybe I should take a trip to Hawai'i.

Why should I go? There are apparently two graduations I can attend, as well as seeing family and hanging out with people I know.

Why shouldn't I go? My mom doesn't want me to go, it is SOMEWHAT pricey, and I guess that's it.

Suggestions?

Ah, Youtube.

So, I haven't really posted all that much this month, despite the fact that I wanted to post like every day. I guess this blog has lost its appeal. Well not REALLY, but...something along those lines. I won't bore you with the details.

So I wrote this long post about how I was looking for this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S5ebMzrPsw
and was asking for help in finding it. But I found it. So there goes those two paragraphs.

Speaking of Youtube, I started uploading videos to Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Jaiphonderby
Go lookie! You probably all won't be interested, but you should look in from time to time because who knows, I might do a song that you like! Or if you have a request you can comment here. Or something. Or you could subscribe to me. Eheh.

Sigh. The song that I was looking for, Kiss - Without You? The youtube video up there? There was this one Monday where I just sat in my chair listening to that song for 7-8 hours straight. Just sitting there. Listening to it. It was the Monday after my high school's prom, in case you were wondering. I'm sure most of you know what day that was.

At least, the ones who remember, anyway. I KNOW ONE PERSON WHO DIDN'T. YES I'M TALKING TO YOU. I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS. :P

Anyway, it's late. I'll try to update more. I'll leave you with, I made a new penpal! She lives in New York. This is all.

Ah, hiatuses.

Well I haven't really posted in awhile. I guess people don't like to hear about drama type stuff.

I guess I could always type about MOVIES. And TV SHOWS. I've been watching a lot of those lately. Why, as I'm typing this I'm watching Black Snake Moan. Not like any of you care, but still.

But apparently that's no fun either. So I guess I'll post about stuff that's been happening at work, which, surprisingly, is rather amusing.

So that Cici guy, well. Apparently on Wednesday night there was some discussion about going off to see the Iron Man movie. And of course Suesan didn't want to go, well not with him at any rate. So she tried to drag James into it. And I'm not too sure on all the details, but Cici gave Suesan his number so she could call him up so they could go see IRON MAN together.

And James, meanwhile, is cracking up to himself because Cici is so enthusiastic about seeing IRON MAN. With Suesan. (lol)

So on Thursday morning when Cici comes in for work he's all smiles and excitedness and jumping for joy and he's all like "SO SUESAN, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND SO WE CAN GO SEE IRON MAN." And I'm like holy crap what happened last night (because I wasn't there for it) and then he was like "Hey Mai you should come too!" And Mai was like "Oh, I don't know about that, I have to go study for my interview," and stuff. Etc.

Just for clarification, Cici has already seen Iron Man. The rest of us haven't. But he said he wouldn't mind seeing it again because it was just that good. Or in other words, he wouldn't mind going to see Iron Man with SUESAN. lawwwwwl.

When I tell it this way, it doesn't seem as funny. I think that vital pieces are missing. Let's see if I can fill in the gaps...

Later though. I'm tired.

Ah, people are jerks.

People are jerks.

Ah, what's wrong with that.

Ellen is here! Yay! I got to play with Diane for like the whoooooooole day and it was so fun omgosh.

So. Couple things.

Work is interesting. Cici (you all remember him, don't you?) is....well. I don't know what to say about him. Suesan's hair happened to be "down" on this particular day (which basically means that it was all nice and fluffy and it looked like she was about to go clubbing or some such) and Cici walks in and he's like, "WHOA!" really, really loudly. And I start laughing quietly and Suesan's trying to ignore him and Mai's just ringing up customers and Cici starts this conversation about her rolling out of bed with her awesome hair and etc. And it was pretty funny.

Later on he manages to catch her and start up this conversation about shampoo at Trader Joe's and he could "hook her up with some" to get that glossy shine on her hair. Oh, too funny.

Yeah but...on the flip side, well. Of course Suesan is really mad about it and all because you know, while he's gabbing away he's not really WORKING, you know? And like, Cici comes up to me and asks, "Hey what's wrong with Suesan she seems kind of sad today," and I was trying to think up a clever answer (I was ringing up a customer at the time, mind you,) that would you know, get him off her back and stuff but before I can say anything he just whips off into the kitchen to talk to her. And I'm thinking to myself poor, poor Suesan.

Turns out that when he went in there he said, and I quote (with more or less perfect accuracy), "Hey Suesan, why are you so sad today did someone in your family die?" Or something to that effect. Which is pretty messed up, am I right? And she just kind of. Well. Shrugged it off, I guess. But hoo she was mad about it.

I heard some crazy stuff happened at the restaurant today too but I wasn't there. Cuz I had the whoooooooole day off because I was playing with the cutest baby everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well maybe not the cutest, but certainly one of the smartest. Gee whiz.

BACK ON TOPIC...

I am conflicted. Highly conflicted. There are many different things, both external and internal, trying to pull me in twenty different directions at once, and I don't know what the hell I am doing. And the worst part is that they're all interconnected. WHICH IS HORRIBLE.

So, I like working at the restaurant. It's nice. The people are fun, the experiences are memorable, etc. Now my mom is trying to hook me up with a bank job. Like at Bank of America. Which would be nice, considering it's relative closeness/presumably higher rate of pay. Chances are, I'll probably land this job, because we've got a friend who is a branch manager and stuff who's going to talk to the guy for me.

But do I want to leave the restaurant? My mom says yes. I...don't know. I like working at the restaurant. Furthermore, I get free food as well as a very very flexible schedule. And so having more money would be nice. However, my flexible schedule is really awesome, because I can be late for work every day which is good for me, because I'm really bad with the whole punctuality thing. Not to mention that I can pretty much get vacations whenever I want, which is nice, because then I can go hit up places I want to go. Like California. And see people I want to see. Like her. In August.

Which again is another issue. If I hook up with a real job up here in Seattle, then chances are I'd probably be in more of a state to be a permanent resident here. Which, I don't know if I want to do, because I would like to move back to California. Living in Washington has its stability, but living in California would be a comfort. Because then I could see people I knew and we'd have fun and just go out for a drink sometimes or just say hi or all those things. And maybe see her more often.

And then of course there's my mother. I mean, I can't guarantee that I can land a solid job in California when I move, right? And no doubt I'll still have to maintain some degree of support for her somehow. Which would be easier to do if I were in Washington, but...to pursue my interests I'd want to move to California.

Which brings religion into the whole mess of things, sigh. My mom wants me to convert. And now days, she's REALLY pushing for it. Which is really really making me not want to go for it. Even though I kind of do. But what's holding me back is the idea that there's no point in living forever if I don't have anyone to live forever with. And no one seems to really understand that. I guess I'm weird like that.

Which of course, intertwines with the best problem of all, and you probably all know what it is considering I secretly rant about it like every day to myself.

Ah, but the true problem lies with...I don't know. Loneliness? I think that my loneliness is just making me reach out and go for the girl that just feels like she won't reject me in the face. Deep down though...I feel like she'll reject me anyway. What makes this so freaking hard is...well. Well she's reading this. BUT THAT'S NOT ...sigh. No, this is waaaaaaay more complicated than that.

I am conflicted, because of all of these things, but most of all I am conflicted because I don't want my liking this girl because I'm lonely and she's like, there, you know? I want it to be because I really do like her, and I think I really do like her, but I can't be totally completely sure, you know? And I don't think I'll ever be sure because there's always been that loneliness/desperation there and it's not like I can make it go away or date another girl just to test whether or not my feelings are transient.

And these things are all tied together. Sigh.

Since I know you're reading this, and I know that you have no idea that you're you, I think it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the matter. I know I won't though, because you're one of my readers that doesn't leave comments. I can't even be sure you actually ARE reading this. I mean you tell me that you've read my blog, but are you STILL reading it?

And well. This whole relationship thing is way more complicated then everything I've written down so far. All this is just the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately. Sigh. I wish I had a pet to sit in my lap at times like these. Or maybe a hug. From you.

Good night then.

Ah, comments.

Comments are fun. Oh comments.

You know, back when I was all trying to make a blog everything back on Xanga, I loved getting comments. I wanted all my posts to have bajillions of awesome comments from everrrrrybody I knew.

And then there was all this stupid drama over comments, because some people thought that other's people's comments were stupid, and all these arguments started and yadda yadda and I really hated it. But I really wanted everyone to comment! And so I feel this way for my current blog, and I'm hoping that evil people won't cause drama. But I still would love to have comments! And I hope that I can hide my blog from those that would cause drama. We'll see how that goes.

I'm a little tired. And I use the word drama a lot.

DIANE IS COMING. Woo. She's so cute. I'll post a bajillion pictures up here. Tee hee.

So, onto more personal dilemnas...

Where to even begin? I don't know if I'm ready to pour my heart and soul into this, ey? I'm kind of insecure when it comes to this kind of thing. I guess...well. I have to start somewhere.

It still haunts me to this day, that thing I did long ago. Some of you reading this will know, and some of you might not know, but it still haunts me. And...if I could go back in time, I...would have taken it back. I would be selfish, and demanding, and...and...happy about it. And it wouldn't matter that he's dead or the other guy is getting married or even that she's...just the way I've always seen her.

It would've worked out. If only...

But no. It didn't. And now here I am. Working this job, no money, no satisfaction, no nothing. Oh what I would give, the whole world over, for just one simple feeling, that YOU were there, and that I could come home every day knowing that you WOULD be there, if not in body then in spirit. What a wonderful thing that would be.

But no, such things aren't granted to monsters like myself. And maybe I'll...go into more detail later. I'm a very troubled soul. But for now...sleep.

Ah, posting habits.

So, it seems like all I really ever do with this blog is post about every single movie and tv show episode I watch.

Which, on that note, this weekend I saw the following: Doctor Who (4 episodes), Soul Eater (2 episodes), Battlestar Galactica (1 episode), Lost (1 episode), Bug (movie), Vacancy (movie), Mulan (movie), Lilo and Stitch (movie), and Armageddon (movie).

But I would like to take a moment to point out that this is pretty much all I ever do of interest to me. But I think that, or guess that, this is not very interesting to those of you reading this blog. And so perhaps I should write more about life, and what I do during life (other than watching things, mind you), and other such oddities. It won't exactly be perfect or anything, and I'll be able to have a good start on it what with Ellen coming THIS WEDNESDAY and all...

I guess I will try. Here goes.

So today, being Sunday, I cleaned my room and my desk and all that nice stuff. It's very much less cluttered now, and there's a lot less dust swirling around the room. Not like it's going to be like this for very long, but I did think to myself that it was ironic that I actually chose to do this during spring. You know, spring cleaning?

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of having a video conversation with my good buddy. I refer to her as such because I'm sure she likes her privacy, wink wink. But it was a nice change of pace and it was nice to talk to her again. Feel better! Oh these reunions are so few and far between...

Other than that, was just work. Pretty uneventful work too. Just the same old stuff at the restaurant. I suppose I should elaborate on that more, but I don't really remember any of it. Taking orders and bringing out food and yadda yadda. It's all a blur, really.

And yet...perhaps this being a diary of sorts, I should post more...serious personal emotional type matters. There's always plenty of those running around, ey? For me, anyway. But this post is getting kind of long. Maybe I should put an end to it, ey? And maybe those italicized mini posts can become something MORE. Ahaha.

Ah well. We'll see. We'll see indeed.

I feel like somewhere, somehow, I'm failing to make this work.

Ah, Evangelion 1.0.

SO.

Mm. Today I watched an episode of Doctor Who. The one with Simon Pegg, who, if you actually clicked the link, will be playing Scotty in the new Star Trek film. I don't know how many of you know who Scotty is, but he's a pretty fun character to watch. I'm not sure how the two will fit each other but we'll see, ey?

I also watched another episode of Naruto. Yipee.

And then surprise, surprise, Evangelion 1.0 is out! WOO?! And of course, nobody knows what I'm talking about.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is this old 90s anime that was an incredible hit about these kids who had to save the world. Mind you, this wasn't like Power Rangers type save the world but real psychologically disturbing world ending horrors and like, well. Yeah.

Anyways, it was a good show, I liked it, despite many a flaw (like that horrible ending) and yeah. So then the guy who made it decides that he's going to do a reboot (similar to what we see in such movies as Batman Begins or Casino Royale. Same characters, but..you know, different. Cooler.) And it's called Rebuild of Evangelion. He's decided to release it in a format of four movies, and the first one came out! Radical turn of events, epic final battle...what more can I say? Better than the original, but still not THAT great. We'll see how the other three movies turn out. The preview is promising.

Ugh. I feel sick. Another 10 hour shift tomorrow. On that note, Lost aired tonight! Woo! We'll see how that goes.

The piano plays mysteriously in the moonlight. Will you dance the night away with me?

Ah, hotel.

Ellen is coming in less than a week. It's nerve breaking, I tell you.

So, I'm going to guess that every single person reading this has no idea what I'm about to talk about, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. And as you may have guessed from the title, it's about Hotel.

Growing up as a child, one of the few comforts that I had was the telly. I could hide from the injustices in the world and just watch television. That is, until the monsters came to get me. A euphemism, I assure you, albeit a cruel one. But that is a story for another time, perhaps.

And it just so happened that there was one particular show I would watch as often as I could. And it was Hotel. Ah Hotel, with your loveable characters, familiar settings, amusing situations... Yes, I grew up on Hotel. It was a great show. I loved every minute of it, and cheered every time they announced a new season of Hotel. Of course, then I moved to California, and was deprived of a television set for several years...so. Yeah.

TO THIS DAY, I still remember several scenes from the show. Like when Ippei (that's the assistant manager guy) accidentally chipped a priceless set of samurai armor. Or when these gangsters came and crushed an apple in a threatening show of force because Ippei inadvertantly caused one of the daughters to have her eyebrow shaven. Or when this mother abandoned her kids at the hotel and so Ippei tried to make them the perfect omelettes. Ah, all priceless memories. Of course, I was a kid back then, so all these stories could be wrong, but I remember the shaving of the eyebrows, and the crushing of the apple, and the samurai armor missing a vital piece, and etc. All childhood memories of mine of a happier time.

Then of course I try to find the show so I can watch it again. The first thing I find is that the show continued to air from 1990-2002! WOW.

The second thing I found was that apparently no one else shares my love for this show.

The third thing I found was this. Yes, you're reading that right. $190.00 for Season 3. And not the whole of Season 3, just "Season 3 Part 1" Sigh. My dreams, my hopes, dashed. No subtitled, cheap version of this show exists? Am I to forever part with a piece of my childhood? I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Like a lot of things in my life. Yes...I remembered that event oh so long ago today. I don't know why I remembered it. I remembered what it did to me, that day.

It's late. I have work.

I was thinking of you when I thought about it. Funny, isn't it? And to think that you were there on that day too. Everyone was...but you were there for me in a way that no one else was....Is that why I'm drawn to you?

Ah, hardship.

I saw another episode of xxxHolic. End of the story arc. Good stuff. That is all.

It occurs to me how hard it is to be there for you. This makes me sad.

Ah, Daleks.

I finished Baccano. It was aite. It finished well. Too disjointed for my tastes, I guess, but it was pretty good.

Saw some more Doctor Who, the one with the Dalek. I liked it. Daleks are cool.

And of course, movies.

This weekend I watched For Eternal Hearts and Invisible Target.

For Eternal Hearts was alright, for a strange romantic tale. Nothing to really say about it. The twist at the end was pretty predictable, but really, it didn't SHINE.

Invisible Target had some weeeeeeird action scenes. The choreography was kind of...weird. Other than that...well. It was okay. I've seen better, but entertainment is entertainment.

If I watched anything else I don't remember. I did go to Top Gun on Sunday and had an early dinner. It was kind of sad because when we got there, I noticed that there was a catfish swimming up to the top of the fish tank it was in. Moments later I looked again to see that it had disappeared, realizing that it was being prepared for someone's dish.

=(

AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S ALL.

Hold my hand...

Ah, snow in April.

Yes, it is snowing. Yes, it is April. HOW FUN!

Not really. I don't really get the opportunity to have as much fun in the snow as I probably SHOULD be. Something like that is...reserved for a special event. I think only a few of you would know what I'm talking about. Actually I think no one would know what I'm talking about. It's...well. When it happens, it happens. And I'll probably be ecstatic about it. But UNTIL THEN...

I am currently watching another episode of Baccano. Today I have also watched episodes of Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, and of course, xxxHolic. And I worked for 10 hours.

This episode of Baccano is pretty funny. Isaac and Miria are pretty amusing.

I guess that's all for now. I'm kinda tired.

You know what would be really cool? You, me, and a movie.

Ah, Kei.

Drama resolved? Probably.

So I suppose that since this is supposed to be like an online diary/journal/log thing, I should actually post things about life and what not. Actual going ons, I mean. I suppose it won't hurt to post such information. Well it could hurt, but who's gonna read this, right? Certainly not a certain someone I'm hoping would read this. But that's a different story.

So there's this new guy we hired at my place, we'll nickname him Cici, because it fits. Heh. He's kind of an oddball. Well, oddball isn't the right word. He talks too much. He doesn't know when to stop talking. We're all working with customers and stuff and he'll come up and be like, "Hey, look at my hair. Were you curious about why the back part is sticking up?" And it's like WOW I'M WITH A CUSTOMER? And there are other such similar incidents, talking about this Korean girl that he's liking (which, he later told me that she "lost her phone" and that she won't hang out with him unless her friends are there and also her ex-bf is threatening to beat up any guy that dates her...which, honestly, makes it seem like she's trying to let him down nicely. Although all those incidents could be true, I doubt it. Eheh.)

Anyway, that's not all. I mean there are a plethora of issues with this guy, but I won't go into them all. This guy needs to get a clue. -_- So a couple days ago Suesan was talking to me and she was saying how she noticed he seemed a little down and that he didn't want to "work" among other things. Talking to him, as is my awesome talent, I find out that he feels like everyone is giving the cold shoulder and being judgemental and all this other crap which, I mean, I'm ignoring him because I don't really talk at work, but really, with the way he's acting around people, I'm not surprised at all. And so Suesan and Mai sat him down and talked to him about what his issues were, and I wasn't really there because I needed to watch the front of course, but I overheard snippets of conversation. I guess the problem was solved, because he wasn't fired?

Well enough of that. More details later, I guess.

I started watching ANOTHER show, (Aha.), but this time it's the second season! And it's like one of the best shows ever? How could I NOT watch it!? It's xxxHolic! Yeah, I loved the first season. My mom doesn't understand why I watch such "weird" shows, but hey, it's good. More Yuko goodness. =D And let's not forget Maru and Moro! They're so...amusing. Well enough of that. I'm sure I'll rant about it later. Ehehe.

Watched another episode of Doctor Who. It was aite. Billie Piper was cute in her Victorian dress. It seems like the Doctor is pretty useless in...most situations.

Watched another episode of Naruto. It sped up, and now it's switching to filler mode. Hurrah. Not.

I should probably start watching some movies. Like, one a day or something. Grahhh.

Wouldn't it be so much easier for you to say, "I like you."? Then I could say, "Wow, I like you too." And then like, we can somehow take it from there. Sigh. Such fantasies were not meant to be, I guess.

Ah, -invokelist.

I watched an episode of Baccano. And an episode of Soul Eater. The show has officially intrigued me, and I think I'll keep up with it, because it seems that I'm in an action-y kind of mood, and the show definitely has action. =D

That's about it for today. Drama at work, but I don't know if I want to get into that or anything just at this moment. We'll see how that turns out before I make an epic post about it. Right now I'm kinda tired and stuff.

I really wonder if you read this.

Ah, Mathew.

Ah, life. How you trouble me so.

So today I watched So Close. Good action, cute girls, yadda yadda, you know how it is. =)

Other than that...well. Not really much to report. It's all the same. It always is.

I'm really afraid. I'm really afraid that you're going to turn me away the moment I reveal how I feel about you. And the really scary part is that I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know what to do, and that scares me, because being rejected again is not going to be very good for my self esteem.

And yet...somewhere, somehow, I have to try. And I hope, and know, that maybe you're reading this, and even though you have no idea that it's you that I'm talking about, maybe deep down inside that heart of yours you feel the same way I do. And when I see you again I won't have to be afraid, because I'll know that you feel the same way.

Ah, the Elixir of Life.

I'm craving some water right now. Too bad I can't get any. *cry cry*

YES, I AM INSANELY WEIRD. But you all knew that, didn't you?

Mm. I missed a day in postings. Which means I completely forgot what I watched and stuff because I watched a lot. Let's see...so in no particular order...

I watched 200 Pounds Beauty. That is by no means a correct translation of the Korean title, and yes, this is a Korean movie. A more accurate translation, by yours truly, would be something like...it's hard being beautiful. Or something like that. And IMDB has a crappy entry for it so try this one. It was an endearing movie, and the girl was pretty hot. No, not her, no offense, but her. And just because I find her really cute you can look at her here, (just the picture on the top left, I think all the pictures in the photo section are pretty lame), here, and here. She SINGS TOO. WANNA HEAR?





Anyway, her singing is pretty good. Yeah. That's about it. Most likely you will never hear about her ever again on this blog because I'm bad at being a fanboy and her movie career doesn't seem to be skyrocketing or anything like that.

I also watched Once. Cute romance musical. Loved the music. That's all I can really say about that. I mean you don't really watch a movie like that for the intense emotional drama. It's all about the music. =)

I also watched Justice League: The New Frontier. I'm not a big fan of DC comics. Superman never appealed to me. Batman did, but there won't be anything Batman-y for awhile. Anyway, The New Frontier was alright. The ending reminded me of the original Star Wars Death Star trench run.

I think that is all. I saw another episode of Doctor Who. The second episode of the first season of the 2005 series. Yeah. It's alright. It's what I expect it to be. We'll see if it surpasses that, eheh. But entertainment is entertainment.

I get the feeling that I'm failing miserably.

Ah, heat.

Another day, another dollar. I worked some today, came home and watched some stuff. What, you ask? Well, I guess I can tell you.

I started watching Doctor Who, and while I'm not starting from the very beginning, it's still an okay show to watch. I think. There is lots of running, as I had previously thought, but watching it again reminded me why I kind of wanted to watch it again in the first place when I had seen a commercial for it a while back. And the reason wasssss.... Well, the girl was kind of cute. AHAHA. Yes, that is probably the sole reason. Ah well, now that I've started, I might as well finish.

I also saw the newest episode of Battlestar Galactica. Tensions are heating up! It's getting interesting, and since this is the show's final season I might as well stick with it to the end.

Also, did you hear? Lost is getting ANOTHER HOUR. Although, I suppose this isn't very exciting to some of you that may be reading this. Ah well.

For movies, well. I only watched one. And a pretty crappy one at that. Naraka 19 was kind of...bad. Maybe it's because my subtitles were all out of whack and didn't correctly convey the feelings of the actresses...HA. No, it was just bad. Well, not bad bad. It was bearable, at least. And Gillian Chung (on left) wasn't too bad looking either. Actually that's pretty much the only reason I watched the movie in the first place. Eheh.

And yeah, not much else to report for today.

Did I screw up?

Ah, post previews.

STUPID POST PREVIEW. THE FORMAT IS ALL WRONG AND IT LOOKS ALL JUNKY. *cry cry*

Ah, experimentational recaps.

So today I will be attempting the whole picture/movie thing, to see how that works with the blog and stuff. After learning how it works and stuff.

Boy, I'm tired. And my feet hurt. I guess that's what I get for working those super long shifts at the restaurant, ey? But yeah. I give orders to my subordinates and they are followed! Ha ha, I r have powar! Nifty.

So, as many of you may know, I took a trip to California a couple weeks back. It was quite awesome. I will now attempt to post these pictures online using my blog.

Hey hey, I figured it out! I think. So on Sunday I stayed up allllll night because there is, of course, no way I'm getting up that early. And I flew on the plane where I had the whole row to myself to lie down in. Then these two young gentlemen picked me up from the airport and we immediately proceeded to Starbucks for some well deserved caffeine. Mm... Then we had lunch at some Chinese restaurant that I don't really remember the name to but that's okay. I then spent the rest of the day at Jeff's house playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, although I'm not very fond of that game. Oh well.

Then I slept over at Hollis's house and got to see Kate again! Yay! We woke up at the nice decent hour of 1pm in the afternoon or something like that and I don't really remember what happened on that day. I do remember a lot of shuffling around and such, because I was house hopping essentially. I got to visit my friend and see their ADORABLE kids.

AREN'T THEY SO CUTE? AND HANUL RECOGNIZED ME! I feel so special. =D Ethan didn't though, but then again it was the first time I had met him! And my, he looks just like the father, I must say. Although, the mother really wouldn't let me take her picture for whatever reason or other. BUT I DID EVENTUALLY GET IT. Like, three days later.

Anyways, yeah, we spent a good time just hanging around, I played with the kids, we had fun, caught up on old times, yadda yadda. It was good. =) Then I slept over at Jeff's place. Good ole Jeff.

Tuesday I had to wake up early because Jeff's family are all early risers and I was sleeping on the couch. Not like that was a bad thing, because I don't really mind sleeping on couches, but yeah, I was in the living room, and it would be bad if I slept till like 5pm and etc. Of course, the other reason I woke up early was because I had a lunch date! Sort of.

So I haven't seen this kid in awhile. Ah, she's changed back to her old self. I mean, well. I guess no one would really know what I was talking about, but yeah. Lunch was nice, we got to walk around Central Park's Japanese Garden because apparently she had never been, and yeah. It was good seeing her again. These pictures were taken in San Mateo's 3rd Avenue Public Library's Underground Parking Lot. I'm sure those of you that know about it already know, and those of you who don't, don't really care, but DANG THEY OVERHAULED THAT THING LIKE CRAZY. It's like the designer's brand name of libraries, seriously. We're talking cafe/fountain/elevators/glass doors/and an UNDERGROUND PARKING LOT. Holy crap. And yeah. Went back and slept at Jeff's for another night. There's his dog. Yay. Then I went to sleep, because of course I had to wake up early yet again. But Wednesday was a pretty big day too, because I had to go to SAN JOSE. BY TRAIN. Scary, really. I'll talk about that more later. Anyway, before I caught the train, I managed to persuade another friend to have lunch with me. We went to Oidan, which is that ramen house on top of Suruki supermarket down on 4th avenue. Good stuff, apparently she had never been! Which was a complete shock to me, considering how close she is and all.

And yeah, we went back to her place in hopes that I'd be able to say hi to her mother, but it was not to be. Oh well, if she's reading this, a happy hello to you and warm blessings from me. =)

Back on topic, I ran over to the train station from her house because I didn't want to be late and all. Managed to get there just in time! And I hopped on the train to San Jose and who was I greeted by? Why, this adorable young woman.

And seriously, she is the most intelligent baby I have ever met. SERIOUSLY. SO SMART. I AM IN AWE BY HER LEVEL 999 GENIUS. Yeah, and I had dinner at her house and it was a lovely time. We had card tricks and nengmyun and happy go lucky girls dancing around singing. Yeah. Good times yo, good times.

And the absolute cool part? THEY'RE COMING TO SEATTLE. AND THEY'RE STAYING AT MY PLACE. YAYUH!?

Heh. But we'll save that for when they get here.

And they drove me back to the train station, but of course I got there late because we chatted for just a smidgen too long, and I had to stay at the train station for an hour before the next train arrived. Talk about scary, did you know that at Tamien train station they have speakers attached to the ceiling, and every so often they will blast loud scary ominous screams of death for no reason? Seriously, I thought vile gang members were coming down the train tracks to rob me of my backpack. Okay, in reality, they're supposed to be owl calls, but seriously now, who DOES that? The government, that's who. And uh. Yeah. That was my exciting Wednesday! Pretty nifty, ey?

Oh Thursday. Thursday was very delightful for me. =) I got to see this pretty face again, and we met up and went to Starbucks and just caught up on old times. We then went to the post office and the BRAND NEW SPIFFY LIBRARY/SPACE STATION and hung out there for awhile. Twas very nice seeing her again. I miss her already. =X I also browsed through all 5272 of her picture library, which was quite an impressive feat, I must say. And I met her grandmother! She was very nice. I liked her smile, although I don't have a picture.

Then it was dinner! With those lovely adorable kids again. Ahaha! And a few others as well, since word had spread around that I had come back to town. We hooked up at their place and had dinner and played Mafia and just talked and had a good time. Twas very nice.

Indeed, I was able to snap a picture of the elusive mother. (From before, if you were reading all that.)
Yes, the next couple of rows will be just pictures of everyone/everything that night.

The formatting on this site is weird, and I apologize for any weirdness, but I'm still getting used to this. And yeah. Then I went and kicked it at Hollis's place and taught Larry how to dance. Properly. Kate helped, and while he's not a breakdancing master, I think he'll do okay if we ever went clubbing.

Then I woke up early yet again on Friday morning to go to HEIDI'S PIES. Yes, a tradition with me and San Mateo.

And who better to go with than Shorty! YAYUH!? Good times yo, although she had a horrible previous evening, and she's going through some rough times right now, but hey, I'm here for you, ey? Let the good times live on. And yes, we chatted, and caught up, and drove around San Mateo and Foster City and just chilled like we always do. Later that day I went to a Dungeons and Dragons session with some other cool peeps, we had dinner, I didn't really take pictures because I didn't really feel the appropriateness of the situations, yadda yadda. It was good times. We did however, go to Larry's house after and play many a round of Mafia, where I feel I succeeded many a time.

There's us all! Yay. Yeah. I don't know what much to say about that. It was a good week, but Saturday was prettttttty frenetic. I had to meet a bajillion people all at the same time in different places. Seriously crazay. But it was good times. Got to see a bunch of people, catch up on the good stuff, had a couple drinks here and there, and really I'm just trying to wrap things up because this is a really really long post. I then proceeded to stay up all night long, then I got on my flight and flew back to Seattle where I found that it had snowed. In March. Crazy, huh? And then it snowed again the day after. And it was like, "What?".

Aha, I guess that sums up my California trip. Hope you enjoyed the pictures. I have more, if you wants to see. =D

Okay yeah, I just previewed the post and there are two spots in the thing that I have no idea how to fix, so I'm just going to leave it as is.

And now it's not even spacing correctly. Oh wells.

So, let's see. Catching up with the real world, I watched Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo, and Bewitched.

Teen Titans, well. I like the show, what can I say? Ahaha. I miss it, and I wish they made more episodes. Oh well.

Bewitched, although I dislike Will Ferrell, I love the soundtrack, and I love Nicole Kidman, so hey, that's all I need, right? =D

Okay, this post is way beyond long. Enjoy the pics, I'll post more latar. =)

Ah, pink straws.

I'm tired. My feet hurt. I'm tired. Ugh.

Watched some more Baccano today. It's starting to make more sense, but it's still wild and crazy. No real verdict yet, I suppose. Miria is cute. Her personaliy, rather, is cute, in that clueless copycat kind of way.

I re-watched The 40 Year Old Virgin for no reason other than just to watch it. Aha. I really should start cracking on movies I HAVEN'T seen. Anyway, 40 year old virgin is good. Cept it's PRETTY HARDCORE rated R. So if you've got kids around I'd probably suggest keeping them away until they're like maybe 15. Cuz you know, 15 is the new 18. So, yeah, it's a good movie. I don't really feel like going indepth into it, but yeah. If you're old enough, go for it! =D

I wanna watch Bewitched now. Ahaha. I may not like Will Ferrell, but Nicole Kidman is hot yo.

I visited Safeway today. It was nice seeing a bunch of familiar faces. Yeah. They want me to come back because it is god awful there. GO FIGURE, right? One must wonder why I quit in the first place. Some customers recognize me too. They miss me because I gave such awesome customer service. The "new guys" apparently have no idea what they're doing.

And with good reason! That store's management is horrible. And seriously, they don't train people properly. The person who was hired a couple weeks before I left lasted one day. And I totally knew that he was going to have such a hard time on his first solo shift, and I felt really bad because I knew the job would chew him up and spit him out, so I really tried to train him in the short four hours that I had him, but nope. He quit after that Saturday.

Then after I quit Debbie tells me that the next guy lasted a day, the guy after that lasted three days, and well Jared is currently working back there and he's been there for a good month. He's a good guy, I'm sure he'll be fine there. Solidly, at least. We'll see how that goes, ehehe.

In the meantime, no one comments on my blog. =( =(((((!!!

Remember that one time you were there for me? I do.

Ah, permits.

Aha! Today I have somewhat more interesting news to post than I do on regular days when there is really nothing to post.

I woke up super early morning today. Gosh. Nobody should have to get up at ungodly hours. And then I went to the DoL to get my permit. Yes, I did indeed pass their test, and now I am allowed to drive again. This time, I'll have to actually like, force my mom to get me my license. Then I'm good for awhile.

After that I went to my old Safeway workplace to hit it up for some much needed caffeine. Saw my old manager Debbie as well as a couple other familiar faces. Was good seeing people again. Yeayuh, good times.

Then ELLEN called me, and it was like whoa, she called me. But I was in the middle of driving, so it was like whoa, can't pick up the phone when I'm driving. And so she left me a message saying, "Eric, call me back as soon as possible, k? Bye." And that was like whoa, she never does anything like that. So I called her back and she's coming up to Seattle! YAY. And she's coming with her cute kid too. YAY. If you would like to see a picture, go ahead and IM me for it. Aha.

Seriously though, her kid is like a supergenius, in a baby kind of way. She's always like...pondering in thought or something. And she talks and she walks and it's like whoa she's only like, one year old? Seriously.

Then I went to work, which is always somehow interesting. Hired a new guy, James, he seems alright. Better than Christopher, anyway. But that's another story for another time. And I worked for uhm. 10 hours? Yeah. Then I came home.

And when I got home, I watched Dan in Real Life. It was pretty good, I must say. Kinda light on the comedy, more so than I would have hoped, but it was still good. Made me think about life, anyway. And I almost teared up at one point. I guess I'm getting sentimental in my old age. ONE DAY I'll watch a movie and I'll start crying, I swear.

I'm tired, I think I'll sleep now. Till later then.

I miss talking to you.

Ah, homeskillet.

I don't really have much to say.

I really wonder if there will ever be an "us".

Ah, Gahz'rilla.

Ah, nothing new this weekend. Just the same old stuff that happens every weekend.

I slayed Gahz'rilla. Does that count as news? =O

So uhm, let's see. I started watching this new show called Baccano. It's intriguing. I'm only 3 episodes in and I'm not really sure what to say. There are like 50 main characters and I have no idea what's really going on because the perspectives keep changing and what not. Although I'm sure everything will be explained and tied in at the end and what not.

This weekend I saw Lars and the Real Girl. To be honest it was kind of boring and predictable. It seems like the makings of a good movie, in theory, but I wasn't really sure what I was watching. There were too few laughs for it to be a comedy, not enough emotion for it to be a drama, and certainly not enough love for it to be a romance. So what was it? I'm not really sure. It was okay, that's what it was.

On the other hand, I also watched King of California which was a much better movie. I wouldn't call it the best movie ever, but it was still a good watch. It had the right combination of comedy and drama that I didn't feel bored watching it, and was rather taken in by the various antics of the characters.

And yeah. Other than that I haven't really done much. Just sleep and junk. My mom went to Canada for her thing. Came back later. I should probably study a bit for my license test thing. And yeah. Just working a lot lately to make money for various mom-related pursuits. Sigh.

Someone IMed me over the weekend and said, ""if you find the person you love, your "missing rib" dont let her go." It was totally completely random. His next sentence was explaining the missing rib part, about the Biblical story of Adam and Eve being created from his rib and all that. Then he signed off. It makes me wonder if it's a sign, because this guy never IMs me about anything for anything. I don't even remember who he is, and I'm sure he doesn't remember who I am. So I really do wonder if it's a sign, and maybe it's more than that, something telling me to not let you go? And for what it's worth, I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't let you go.

Ah, fingernails.

Ah, rekindled friendships, what a wonderful thing. =)

No word on my friend. I know she'll be fine, but I still worry about her condition, not just physically. I can only hope that things will turn out okay for her. I'm still rooting for you Shorty! =D

Sigh.

So, having not seen any movie, I instead saw a couple TV shows. Naruto (yes, I still watch it, yes, it's still bad, yes, I still have hopes for it, yes, it looks like maybe the show might be getting better.) Battlestar Galactica's final season started, and the season premier was pretty hot, I must say. Starts off with an epic space battle, then reigns it in and throws in all these questions and suspense and drama and all that good stuff. Who's the final Cylon!? The mind boggles at such mysteries.

And yes, work work work. Even more so now because I don't make the cut, it seems. So I have to work more hours to make the money to stuffs. I might have to take up a second job again. Oh boys, how fun.

And yeah, it's the weekend. Time to relax, ey? Watch a few movies, sit back in the chair, sleep a lot. All that good stuff.

Thinking about you tears me apart.

Ah, shucks.

As I write this I have just learned that my friend got into a car accident. It's too late to call her NOW, but I'm going to do it the moment I get a chance. It sucks being really far from everybody. I'm contemplating doing the flying down to California thing to see if she's really alright.

Well. Maybe I have an ulterior motive for going down to California.....Eheh.

But yeah. I'm worried. And this only ADDS to the multitude of problems I'm looking at. Sigh. But she's strong. She'll be fine. I will see her again. I just wish I could do more, you know?

Ah. Anyway, enough melodrama. I saw The Game Plan starring Dwayne Johnson and Peyton Kelly. Very cute movie. I enjoyed it quite thoroughly. Not much else to say about that.

Except for one small minor detail. Sandra Bullock and Roselyn Sanchez look VERY much alike, don't they? Pictures don't do it justice, but whenever I see Roselyn Sanchez in a movie, I always think, "Hey, I didn't know Sandra Bullock was in this film." And then I look closer and I'm like, "Oh wait, that's not her."

Sigh. I guess I'll do the sleep thing now. Not much I can do right now anyway except hope for the best. Shorty, take care, aite? We've got to meet up again because the last time was WAY too short. <3

Is it a sin to think about you during times like these?

Ah, Straight Flush, 4 to the 8

Anyone know where the title is from? No? It comes from Casino Royale, the latest entry in James Bond movies, soon to be followed by Quantum of Solace, coming this November! I can't wait.

Yeah, so I watched Casino Royale over the past evening/morning while I was typing away at various e-mails and studying for my driver's license knowledge test. Which I failed! Yay! I'll just have to take the test again later. Mm.

Back to the movie, it was pretty good. Watching it again, I noticed some of the more subtle emotional elements of the movie and I realized that it was deeper than I previously had thought it been. Not like I was really paying attention, what with doing a bajillion other things and all. As for whether or not Daniel Craig is "THE" James Bond...well. I withhold my judgement. I still think Pierce Brosnan looks the part more than the other 5. As for who the best James Bond is...well. Let's just say the world is a better place that his name isn't Peregrine Carruthers.

Anyway, today I woke up suuuuuuuuuper early to go to the DoL and take that stupid test that I knew I was going to fail anyway because they ask really dumb obscure questions that you'll never have to know for the rest of your life. But I guess that's life, huh. Then I went to work for 10 hours. And now here I am. I think I'll have an orange. Or ice cream. Or both! =O!

People tell me I should come after you with all I've got. Will you turn me away if I do?

Ah, deep thinking.

Another day, another dollar.

So earlier this morning I finished reading Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job. I like to pick up a book from my airport's bookstore whenever I go on a flight, and this happened to be the one. I thought it was amusing at times, and a pretty good read. I'm tempted to go out and read some more of his work, but I guess that will have to wait until I spy something at a bookstore, or I happen to take another flight somewhere. Who knows?

At the moment I am attempting to think about things to write about, as well as attempting to keep up with e-mails and myspace, although I don't think I'm doing a very good job of that. Sigh. But at least I'm keeping up with this thing? Well, we'll see. It's only been 2 days, after all.

I thought about you today. It made me smile.

Ah, the indecencies that life throws at me.

So yeah. Now that I've semi-set this up, I suppose now I'll leave it alone and almost never post again. Or perhaps I'll attempt to actually try to maybe sort of post more and reveal my life to a bajillion strangers. Who knows?

Oh hey that's nifty. It autosaves? Cool.

Anyway, let's see. Life is kind of a pain right now. I don't know who is going to be reading this regularly and so perhaps I should not spill ALL the details, let's just say that there are many a problem I am dealing with now, and your support would be very much appreciated in this manner. Sigh.

On another note, I just got a chance to watch Juno and while I would not call it the best movie ever, it certainly was an enjoyable watch. I recommend it for those of you who aren't bored with a comedy that doesn't involve sexual references in every joke or traditional slapstick, and certainly not for people looking for die hard explosive action. It's just one of those movies that you can sit down to and helps you put life into perspective and makes light of the hard times. Or something like that.

Yeah so. I need to uhm, sleep. And stop feeling sick. And get my license. That's major goal #1, get my license. Yeah, cheer me on?