Ah, Torchwood.

So, I haven't really posted all this month. I should probably post more or some such.

Having not seen a movie in awhile, I instead find myself watching Torchwood. It's aite so far. I'm only 5 episodes in, after all. And I just started watching...well...about 4 hours ago. Ha. Ha.

I'm kind of hungry.

Life for me at the moment is...well...confusing. Well, not really confusing. It's just...I don't know what I should be doing. In terms offffffff...things. This is hard to explain. Ha.

Imagine for a moment, a shining diamond, a treasure beyond treasures, whatever you will. Placed inside of a room. The door is closing fast! Do you risk it all? Do you risk the dangers, the ceiling coming down on you, the door crushing your very entry, the flaming arrows, all the traps and hazards and everything you could possibly imagine, all for the treasure of a lifetime? Or do you stay, outside, away from harm's away, and dwell upon what could have been?

That's...kind of sort of what it's like. Except...more complicated.

I think...ugh. Risking it all...I know I'm going to regret it. Why? Because...I won't be able to make it past the traps.

But I know that not risking it...I'll just dwell on what could have been. And it's driving me crazy. I just wish that sometimes I could make sure that the treasure would surely be mine. Then I'd know that it'd be okay to risk it all, because it would be okay. But I guess that's not really a risk, knowing that it'd be safe.

But the risks would still be there! Because having the treasure would always be a risk. The risk of losing it. And that's a risk I'm willing to take. Just not the risk of losing before I've even started.

I guess that's all.